Comments for the Memorial Service for My Friend Paul Kissinger

Thursday, May 23, 2002-Gobin Methodist Church-Greencastle, IN

I foolishly asked faculty coffee-drinkers at the East College daily coffee club to jot down their thoughts about Paul.  Little did I realize most everyone would accept the privilege.  I was overwhelmed.  You know who you are.   If I omit your thoughts today, I apologize.  I will copy each carefully and provide them to Joanne.

I assumed the theme of today's service would be "The Good Life."  It was a recurring creed expressed-in both jest and in solemnity-by Paul.  I have heard it for 40 years.  I always knew when it was coming... like a head-on collision; in unison he and I would say, "This is the Good Life. Right here!"  And then he and Joanne and Judy and I would laugh and drink a toast.   Mine was non-alcoholic, of course.

I wondered what "The Good Life" actually meant to Paul.   How did he embrace it? How did he actualize it in word and in deed?  I have a few examples; there are hundreds left unspoken.  Joanne has learned of many more from friends since he died.

The Good Life for Paul was taking off on a sunny afternoon in his Cessna 150.  Often he took his long-time colleague Austin Sprague.  It was an outing both enjoyed, but Paul knew it was very special to Austin.  He and Joanne enriched Austin's life immensely through their kindnesses and attention that included coffee many mornings in the Kissinger kitchen.

I had my own flights with Paul.  Many of them.  We would take off from the Greencastle International Airport, as Paul called it.  We would circle the campus and swoop low.  Hanging halfway out the window, I would shoot aerial shots of campus for university publications....... Paul often said I did some of my finest work at 1,500 feet.

The Good Life for Paul was singing in a barbershop quartet.  As he and Nick, and Charlie and Carl, I recall, once sang with harmonic gusto on our patio at our daughter Cindy's wedding reception.

The Good Life was showing slides of trips he and Joanne enjoyed and wanted to share.  He and I often jested "which 700 good slides are you bringing tonight?"  I am sure the 10 rolls of slides from France, which I dropped off yesterday, will become the most important Paul ever shot.

The Good Life was heading out to DePauw Alumni Groups all over the country to speak, to sing, to inform.  He was a Great Ambassador for DePauw.

The Good Life was sitting in The Duck or The Links with good friends, savoring whatever joy or new adventure he'd experienced or was about to launch.

For Paul, the Good Life was going overseas to lecture dependents of American servicemen and diplomats .....and then recruiting them to come to DePauw.... and then—with Joanne—nurturing them for four years, including home-cooked dinners once they they arrived in Greencastle.

Paul cherished traditions... savored them.  When it appeared the student rite of ringing the East College bell after a Tiger victory would die, Paul became what the newspapers described "as the mystery bell-ringer."

Evidence and proof of The Good Life was hanging photos of his family in his den.  Tuesday I counted more than 100 there. (PAUSE) It was driving his "Clown Car," the source of amusement of his associates and his students and friends but to the despair of his kids.  His front plate said "I'd Rather Be Flying."  His rear vanity plate was his short-wave radio handle, something like W9YJ.

It was a necessity that his version of The Good Life include moral support of friends who encountered personal or professional setbacks.  He loved DePauw, but he never failed to express his empathy-in word and deed-when he recognized what he felt was an injustice or unfairness to an associate or friend.

Something so simple as walking Wags, their dog, around the block was something Paul enjoyed.  Hence, the Good Life.  Often as I was leaving for work, I would encounter them curving around Highridge and on to Highwood.  We would shout some timely greeting and then we'd both go on our way, relishing the exchange.

He seemed to love everything about his life....from being a yo-yo champion as a kid growing up in Reading, PA to lecturing the Greencastle League of Women Voters.

My wife, Judy, once asked him to speak to the LWV.  His off-beat topic, typically Paul, was "Asteroids and Astronauts: Physics in the Twilight Zone."

When the Kissinger and Aikman children were growing up together and we were in each other's home, Paul would send this chilling threat to the rowdy youngsters, "I am going to come in there and settle hash!" He never did.

A revered Dean of DePauw, who wishes to remain anonymous, said that every Dean dreams of a perfect faculty member.  "If there were such a thing," he added, "Paul would be my choice."  To which an emeritus faculty member at the daily coffee hour, quickly pointed out, "Bob, some people might not think that's a compliment," but this same esteemed history professor said that when Paul was NOT at the daily coffee club to add his views on the pressing issues discussed with great animation and thunder, he often left wondering, "What would Paul have said about the issues?"

I loved Paul.  I was enriched greatly by knowing him. He was as we Hoosiers would say, "down to earth."  His common sense and moderation were well established in this college community.  His self-deprecating humor was always apparent.  So was his generosity with his resources and his time and energy.   His enthusiasm was infectious.  Steve Fields remarked this morning at The Gathering Grounds that Paul always seemed to be happy.  His decency and concern were genuine.  He was never pretentious.

As one unknown contributor to these remarks recalled:   "Paul taught me that living the "good life" has everything to do with WHO you are, and little to do with what you HAVE."

Today we celebrate the Good Life of our cherished friend, Paul Kissinger... and what a good, full-no, brimming, honorable, generous, fully-engaged life it was!

back to Remarks page